Chapter Eighteen
On the Importance of Humility
1. In the same hour came the disciples to Jesus, saying, “Who then is the greatest in the kingdom of the heavens?”
2. And Jesus, calling a little child to [Him], stood him in the midst of them,
3. And said, “Amen I say to you, Unless you be turned [around], and become as little children, you shall not enter into the kingdom of the heavens.
4. Whoever therefore shall humble himself as this little child, he is the greatest in the kingdom of the heavens.
5. And whoever shall receive one such little child in My name, receives Me.
6. But whoever shall cause one of these little ones that believe in Me to stumble, it is expedient for him that a donkey’s millstone should be hung upon his neck, and he should be sunk in the depth of the sea.
7. Woe unto the world because of offenses! For it is necessary that offenses come; nevertheless, woe to that man by whom the offense comes!
8. And if either thy hand or thy foot cause thee to stumble, cut them off, and cast [them] from thee; it is better for thee to enter into life lame or maimed, than having either two hands or two feet to be cast into the eternal fire.
9. And if thine eye cause thee to stumble, pluck it out, and cast [it] from thee; it is good for thee with one eye to enter into life, [rather] than having two eyes to be cast into the Gehenna of fire.
10. See [that] you not despise one of these little ones; for I say unto you, that their angels in [the] heavens continually look at the face of My Father who is in [the] heavens.”
Throughout this gospel, Jesus has been teaching His disciples about the kingdom of heaven. In this next episode, we see that the disciples still have much to learn about that kingdom. This becomes clear when they approach Jesus and ask Him, “Who then is greatest in the kingdom of heaven?” (Matthew 18:1).
These disciples are still imagining that Jesus is about to declare Himself king, and when He does so, He will be selecting others to rule with Him. Therefore, they want to know who will have the greatest power and most prestigious positions in that kingdom. In other words, they want to know who will be the greatest in the coming kingdom. Their focus on “being the greatest” reveals how little they know about the kingdom of heaven.
Nevertheless, Jesus continues to instruct them. Placing a child in their midst, Jesus says, “Assuredly, I say unto you, unless you are converted and become as little children, you will by no means enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself as this little child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoever receives one little child such as this in My name, receives Me” (Matthew 18:3-5).
By setting a child in the midst of the disciples, Jesus is teaching them that child-like innocence and trust represent the kind of humility they should be seeking, especially the humility that trusts in God rather than in oneself. In this context, it is helpful to remember that Jesus has just rebuked them for their inability to heal the demon-possessed boy. At that time, when they asked Jesus why they could not cast out the demon, Jesus said, “because of your unbelief” (Matthew 17:20). In other words, they trusted in their own power rather than in God’s power. 1
Earlier in this gospel, Jesus taught the disciples how to pray by giving them a model prayer that ended with the ascription, “for Thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, forever” (Matthew 6:13). Through these concluding words of the prayer, Jesus was teaching them that all power, including the power to cast out demons, is from God. As long as the disciples believed that the power to cast out demons was from themselves rather than from God, they had no power. Therefore, when Jesus says that the “greatest” in the kingdom of heaven are like little children, He is referring to humility — the heavenly quality that attributes all power to God. 2
Sacred places within us
As Jesus continues to instruct His disciples, He says, “Whoever shall offend one of these little ones who believe in Me, it would be better for him if a great millstone were fastened around his neck, and he should be sunk into the depths of the sea” (Matthew 18:6). These “little ones” are the sacred places within us where innocence and trust still remain. Whenever these tender states recur, we should welcome them, and by no means deny them.
Jesus then adds that if our foot or our hand offends us, we should “cut it off,” and if our eye offends us, we should “pluck it out” (see Matthew 18:8-9). The strong language is intended to convey a powerful spiritual message. If we are inclined to take a step in the wrong direction or feel a desire to use our hand to do something against “the little ones” of our better nature, we should “cut off” that desire as quickly as we can. It’s far better to practice self-restraint than to go through life succumbing to the desires of our lower nature. 3
Similarly, if our “eye” (meaning our understanding) is tending to believe things that are false and therefore damaging to our spirit, it is better to “pluck it out” immediately. It should be clear that Jesus is using figurative language to describe the many ways we can be inflamed by selfish desires and led astray by misleading beliefs. In this passage, Jesus is not speaking about literally cutting off limbs or plucking out eyes, but rather about ceasing from evil and clearing up misunderstandings so that we can see what is true and do what is good.
At the same time, it does us no good to see the truth, fully understand it, and yet desire to live contrary to it. In that case, it’s better to misunderstand the truth, represented by seeing with “one eye,” rather than to grasp the truth clearly with “two eyes,” while being unwilling to rise above selfish desires. As Jesus puts it, “It is better for you to enter into life with one eye, than to have two eyes and be cast into the Gehenna of fire” (Matthew 18:9). 4
All of this powerful language is given to urge us to treat with respect these “little ones” who believe in God. That’s because these “little ones” are the sacred places within each of us that are in closest connection to God. In the spiritual sense, the “little ones” in us represent our most tender and innocent states — many of which came to us in our infancy, childhood, and early adolescence, and have remained with us throughout our lives. This also includes all those states, not only in infancy and childhood, but also in our adult years, when we have experienced the Lord’s qualities flowing in, qualities such as love, faith, compassion, patience, and understanding. 5
This lesson, in its essence, is to attribute nothing to ourselves. Rather, we should regard every loving affection that flows in, every charitable thought that arises, and every tender memory that comes to mind as the secret influence of our heavenly Father. These loving affections, compassionate thoughts, and blessed memories are not self-generated. They are the “little ones” that come to us from the Lord through the medium of angels. Although they come to us quietly, and without a trace of compulsion, they should not be ignored, disregarded, or despised. As Jesus says to His disciples, “Take heed that you do not despise one of these little ones, for I say to you that in heaven their angels always see the face of My Father who is in heaven” (Matthew 18:10). 6
This, then, is how Jesus taught His disciples about the central importance of humility. He had already touched on this subject when He began the Sermon on the Mount, saying, “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven” (Matthew 5:3), and now He returns to that same theme. This is because humility is an essential aspect of heavenly life. Whenever we humble ourselves, expressing a sincere desire to be led by the Lord and not by self, the Lord flows in with inspiration, goodwill, and the power to serve selflessly. Those who humble themselves in this way are the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. 7
A practical application
In this episode, Jesus tells His disciples to welcome “the little ones.” These “little ones” represent the sacred states that come to us as spiritual gifts in moments of innocence and trust, especially in childhood. These experiences, however brief, remain with us, and serve to receive the life that flows in from the Lord. Although these innocent states may be deeply buried and almost forgotten, they can never be lost. In fact, they can resurface and be re-experienced as holy moments — as times when we feel the Lord’s presence in us and around us. These holy moments are often associated with a passage or a story from the Lord’s Word. But they can also be associated with a relative who comforted you, a friend who helped you, or someone who inspired you. Although these moments of holiness might seem minor and fleeting, they are foundational experiences in your spiritual development. As a practical application, then, allow the Lord, through the ministry of angels, to bring to mind those experiences when you felt the Lord’s love, protection, and guidance. Remember these moments and honor them. You may also want to share them with a loved one or trusted friend. As Jesus says, “Whoever receives one little child like this in My name, receives Me” (Matthew 18:5). 8
The Parable of the Lost Sheep
11. “For the Son of Man is come to save that which was lost.
12. What do you think? If a certain man have a hundred sheep, and one of them be gone astray, will he not leave the ninety-nine upon the mountains, [and] go seeking that which is gone astray?
13. And if [it] be that he find it, amen I say unto you, that he rejoices more at that, than at the ninety-nine which went not astray.
14. Thus it is not the will of your | Father who is in [the] heavens, that one of these little ones should perish.”
We all begin life in states of innocence and trust. Then, gradually, we begin to believe the appearance that life is from ourselves, unaware that it is a moment-to-moment gift from God. Because it feels as though life is our own, we believe the appearance that we are self-directed, self-reliant, and self-sufficient, with no real need for God.
As we grow older, this illusion gradually becomes a firm belief that we are in charge of our own lives, even to the point where we stray away from God. In the language of sacred scripture, we are like sheep who have wandered away from their shepherd. As Isaiah prophesied, “All we like sheep have gone astray. We have turned, everyone, to his own way” (Isaiah 53:6). 9
Increasingly, as our reliance on God wanes, and our self-reliance increases, we wander away from the Lord’s protection, drifting into the dark valleys of self-derived intelligence and self-love. In our ever-increasing arrogance we lose all sense of humility, even to the point where we begin to despise the “little ones” in us. 10
And yet, even when we turn away from the Lord, and the blessings He has bestowed upon us, the Lord never turns away from us. He is always there, gently calling us back, hoping that we will hear His call. As it is written in the Hebrew scriptures, “Listen and give heed. Do not be arrogant…. But if you will not listen, My soul will weep for you in secret because of your pride. My eyes will overflow with tears because the Lord’s flock has been taken captive” (Jeremiah 13:16-17).
This passage refers to the time that the Lord Himself would come to earth as a shepherd to lead His people back to Him. He would come to rescue His children from the evils and falsities that held them captive. And so, Jesus says, “What do you think? If a man has a hundred sheep, and one of them goes astray, does He not leave the ninety-nine upon the mountains to seek the one that is straying?” (Matthew 18:12). 11
In these words, Jesus gives a most tender image of the divine love — the total and eternal forgiveness of a loving Father toward His wayward children. There could not be a more poignant or beautiful way of expressing that love than in the image of a father who has come to rescue His children from captivity, or of a shepherd who rescues a lost lamb before it perishes.
Rescuing the “little ones”
The parable of the lost sheep speaks of the Lord’s complete and unlimited forgiveness no matter how often, and no matter how far we have strayed from the heavenly fold. Such straying relates to our gradual loss of willingness to be led by the Lord. Instead, as our self-love rises, we tend to despise and reject the idea that we are totally reliant on God for spiritual direction and divine guidance.
The more we rely on our self-derived intelligence, the more we find ourselves at odds with others. As disagreements mount, and opinions collide, the uniting influence of divine truth is left behind. Unable to get others to agree with us, we may choose go on the attack, or sulk, or simply regard others as ignorant. At such times, when we have become lost in self-derived intellect, the “little ones” in us have gone astray. We have wandered far from the teaching that says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not rely on your own understanding” (Proverbs 3:5).
Each of us, at times, has wandered far and become lost in these dark valleys of self-reliance. During such times, we forget, dismiss, or regard as insignificant those times when we felt close to and protected by the Lord. This is the kind of forgetfulness that takes place within us whenever we are taken captive by worldly desires and false thoughts.
It is in these times of spiritual captivity that the Lord comes to rescue the “little ones” within us — the early memories of His love and protection that have gone astray. As it is written “Even so it is not the will of your Father who is in heaven that one of these little ones should perish” (Matthew 18:14).
A practical application
There are times when we have wandered from the Lord’s presence and found ourselves in dark places, lost in self-derived intelligence, and far removed from the guidance of God’s Word. The “mountains” from which we have strayed are those innocent, trusting times when we felt close to the Lord, inspired by His Word, and therefore were without worries or resentments. As a practical application, then, read His Word with the assurance that the Shepherd has come to take you back to His holy mountain, back to that place of innocent trust in Him rather than in self. This does not mean that disagreements will magically end. But it does mean you will be able to deal with disagreements from a higher state of consciousness, and with a deeper sense of peace, knowing that your viewpoint is based on your best understanding of God’s Word, and that you are humbly following where He leads.
Dealing with a Sinning Brother
15. “And if thy brother sin against thee, go thy way and reprove him between thee and him alone; if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother.
16. And if he shall not hear, take with thee yet one or two, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every saying may be established.
17. And if he neglect to hear them, tell [it] to the church; but if he also neglect to hear the church, let him be to thee just as a gentile and a publican.
18. Amen I say to you, whatever things you shall bind on the earth shall be bound in heaven; and whatever things you shall loose on the earth shall be loosed in heaven.”
19. “Again I say to you that if two of you shall agree together on the earth about any matter that they may ask, it shall be done for them by My Father who is in [the] heavens.
20. For where two or three are gathered together in My name, there am I in the midst of them.”
In biblical times, it was taught that sinners should first be given a warning — perhaps even three warnings — before being punished. As it is written through the prophet Ezekiel, “You must warn the wicked to turn from his way” (Ezekiel 33:9). While this passage does not specifically say how many times a sinning brother should be warned, some rabbis taught that three transgressions could be forgiven, but the fourth transgression should bring about a punishment.
As this next episode begins, Jesus seems to be repeating this familiar idea about warning a sinning brother. As Jesus says, “If your brother sins against you, go your way and reprove him between you and him alone; if he shall hear you, you have gained your brother” (Matthew 18:15). This is consistent with the cultural attitudes of the day regarding forgiveness and reconciliation.
But what happens if your brother refuses to hear you? Jesus has an answer for that as well. He says, “And if he shall not hear you, take with you one or two, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every saying may be established” (Matthew 18:16). And if he refuses to hear the two or three witnesses, there is a third step. Jesus says, “Tell it to the church” (Matthew 18:17). This is the final step in the effort to reconcile. If the person refuses to hear the church, says Jesus, “Let him be to you as a heathen or as a tax collector” (Matthew 18:17).
In this series, the first step is to go directly to the person who has sinned against us and work it out in private. If that doesn’t work, we should try to settle the issue in front of two or three objective witnesses. And if that also fails, the issue should be taken to the church. By “the church” Jesus is referring to people who are able to see situations through spiritual principles. And if all that fails, the issue is over.
This is good, practical advice. It’s always best to work things out in private, speaking honestly, without a desire to be right, but rather with a desire to restore a relationship. If this doesn’t work, the next step is to invite mediators to help. At times, even this attempt at reconciliation may fail. While forgiveness should be limitless, there may be situations where one of the parties has no interest in restoring the relationship. This is when it may be time to separate.
Inner reconciliation
As Jesus describes this process for dealing with a sinning brother, it seems as though He is speaking within the framework of the cultural attitudes and rabbinical traditions that gave allowances for three offenses, while not allowing a fourth transgression. And yet, there is a more interior message within Jesus’ words. On one level, Jesus is offering direction about how to deal with disagreements that arise between people. At a deeper level, however, Jesus is speaking about disagreements that arise within us — that is, between our thoughts and our feelings.
The alignment of heart and mind, emotion and thought, will and understanding, is one of the chief tasks of spiritual development. Whenever there is disagreement between our desires and our understanding, we first need to see how the issue can be reconciled. In order to achieve this inner reconciliation, we need to bring in a few teachings from the Word (“two or three witnesses”), and if that doesn’t settle the issue, we should consider a larger selection of teachings (“the church”).
Finally, when we have exhausted all attempts to bring about a reconciliation, it is time for a separation. It is time to re-align what is true with what is good, and what is good with what is true. If it turns out that our understanding has been led astray by false ideas, we must separate from those misleading beliefs, which are here called “heathen.” And if our desires are based on some form of self-love or materialistic gain, we must separate from them as well — here called “tax collectors.” 12
Therefore, this teaching is not just about our relationships with others. More deeply, it’s about false ideas that arise in our minds, diminishing our faith, and greedy attitudes that flow into our hearts, inflaming our selfish ambitions and materialistic desires. In either case, it is time for a separation. As Jesus says, “Let him be to you as a heathen or as a tax collector” (Matthew 18:17). 13
Jesus then adds, “Whatever things you shall bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever things you shall loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven” (Matthew 18:18). If we are “bound” to false beliefs and selfish desires, we must separate from them in order to be “loosed’ from their bondage. Once we have been loosed from that bondage, our spirit is set free so that it may receive what flows in from the Lord.
Once loosed from that bondage, our spirit is set free so that it may receive what flows in from the Lord. This is the foundation for a heavenly marriage that takes place between an individual and the Lord.
Jesus’ words about “binding” and “loosing” on earth are given to teach us that this lifetime is our chance to straighten out our relationships with others, and especially our relationship with the Lord. In other words, this is our chance to decide about the kind of relationships we want to have, the thoughts we want to dwell on, and the desires we want to embrace. It is here, now — in this lifetime and not after death — that we freely determine the kind of person we want to be for eternity. 14
To assist us in this all-important task, Jesus reminds us that He will be with us every step of the way. Nevertheless, He can only be with us and act through us to the extent that we are operating from His teachings and in His name. As He says, “Where two or three are gathered together in My name, there I am in the midst of them” (Matthew 18:20).
A practical application
It is comforting to remember that God is always present to lead and guide us. In fact, He is “in the midst” of us. This means that when people come together “in His name” — in the spirit of kindness, mercy, and forgiveness, and are willing to be led by His truth — selfish interests can be put aside, misleading ideas can be corrected, and differences can be reconciled. As a practical application, then, before endeavoring to settle a disagreement with someone, invite the Lord’s presence. Call to mind scriptures that will open you to the Lord’s compassion and guide you in the Lord’s wisdom. This will “bind” you together with the Lord in a heavenly marriage — a marriage that begins on earth and continues in heaven. As it is written, “What is bound on earth is bound in heaven.” 15
The Unforgiving Servant
21. Then Peter, coming to Him, said, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Until seven times?”
22. Jesus says to him, “I say not to thee, until seven times, but until seventy times seven.”
23. “Therefore is the kingdom of the heavens likened to a man, a king, who willed to take account with his servants.
24. And when he had begun to take [it], one was brought to him who owed [him] ten thousand talents.
25. But he not having [anything] to pay, his lord ordered him to be sold, and his wife, and children, and all that he had, and [it] be paid.
26. Then the servant, falling [down], worshiped him saying, ‘Lord, bear with me, and I will pay thee all.’
27. And the lord of that servant being moved with compassion released him, and forgave him the debt.
28. But that servant going out, found one of his fellow servants, who owed him a hundred denarii, and [taking] hold of him choked [him], saying, ‘Pay me what thou owest.’
29. Then his fellow servant, falling at his feet, implored him, saying, ‘Bear with me, and I will pay thee all.’
30. And he was not willing; but going away, cast him into prison, until he should pay what was owed.
31. But his fellow servants, seeing what was done, sorrowed greatly; and coming, they gave their lord to understand all things that were done.
32. Then his lord, calling him, says to him, ‘Thou wicked servant, I forgave thee all that debt, since thou didst implore me.
33. Shouldest thou not also have had mercy on thy fellow servant, even as I had mercy on thee?’
34. And his lord, being angry, delivered him up to the tormentors until he should pay all that was owed to him.
35. So also shall My heavenly Father do unto you, unless every one of you forgive his brother from your hearts their trespasses.”
Peter, who has been listening to Jesus’ explanation of the reconciliation process, is wondering about how often he should allow a person to sin against him, and still forgive that person. So, he asks Jesus, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?” (Matthew 18:21). Interestingly, Peter’s question more than doubles the cultural standard of offering forgiveness three times. In response, Jesus says, “I do not say to you up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven” (Matthew 18:22). 16
Aware that Peter has little understanding of what these words mean, Jesus illustrates this teaching with a parable about a forgiving king and an unforgiving servant. As the parable begins, the king wants to settle an account with a servant who owes him ten thousand talents. This is an outlandishly huge debt, especially since a laborer would have to work fifteen years to earn the equivalent of even one talent. At the standard wage of one denarius per day, it would take one hundred and fifty thousand years to pay off the ten thousand talent debt. In other words, it was a debt that could never be repaid.
In a deeper sense, the parable speaks about our debt to the Lord. He has given us so many gifts, so many blessings, endless forgiveness, and even our very life. It is a debt that can never be repaid, not in ten thousand years, or even in ten thousand lifetimes. As it written in the Hebrew scriptures, “His mercy endures forever” (Psalms 136:1-26).
The servant in the parable may know he can never repay his debt, but still he cries out, “Lord, have patience with me and I will pay you all” (Matthew 18:26). This is a picture of each of us, acknowledging our debt to God, and promising to repay Him by a life of shunning evils and doing good.
As the parable continues, we learn that the king is “moved with compassion” and forgives the debt (Matthew 18:27). The servant, whose debt is now completely forgiven, goes out and finds a fellow servant who owes him one hundred denarii, a debt equivalent to three months’ wages at that time. It might be expected that this servant who had just been forgiven such an enormous debt, would remember the king’s mercy toward him, and exercise the same mercy towards his fellow servant, whose debt, in comparison, is relatively minor.
But the servant who has just been forgiven such a large debt refuses to forgive a relatively minor debt. Instead, he takes the debtor by the throat and says, “Pay me what you owe!” The fellow servant begs for mercy saying, “Have patience with me and I will pay you all.” These are the very same words spoken by the servant who is forgiven by the king. Unfortunately, the king’s magnanimous act of forgiveness seems to be forgotten. Instead, the unforgiving servant shows no mercy. As it is written, “He went and threw him into prison till he should pay the debt” (Matthew 18:30).
Like the unforgiving servant in the parable, there are times when we forget what the Lord has done for us. We forget the many ways He has saved us and continues to save us from our sins. Instead, we feel justified in being angry or resentful towards those who have hurt us in some way. When we forget how much we have been forgiven, we cannot forgive. Instead, we cast those who have offended us in some way into our “debtor’s prisons” — hard, stony places in our own hearts where there is no compassion, and no forgiveness.
Finally, as we come to the conclusion of the parable, we learn that others have witnessed the hard-heartedness of the unforgiving servant. When they tell the king about the hard-hearted servant, the king says to him, “You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you begged me. Should you not also have had compassion on your fellow servant, just as I had pity on you?” (Matthew 18:31-34).
This parable speaks of the inclination in every human heart to forget how deeply we have been blessed and how abundantly we have been forgiven. It is to forget that “The Lord is good to all, and His tender mercies are over all His works” (Psalms 145:9). To the extent that we forget the Lord’s mercy towards us, we forget to be merciful to others. In doing so, we turn our backs on the innumerable blessings the Lord has stored up in our interiors.
These blessings include the “little ones” that we must never despise, for they lead us back to God. They are His priceless gifts to us, which we can never completely remove, but which we can close up through hardness of heart. Nevertheless, these “little ones” remain with us always, ready to be accessed if and when we so choose. As Jesus says, these are the “little ones” who “always see the face of My Father in heaven” (Matthew 18:10). 17
A return to innocence
When the disciples asked Jesus, “Who will be the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?”
their question revealed their desire to exalt themselves. Jesus saw that they were more concerned with being “great” than being humble. They imagined that heavenly life consisted in wealth, honor, and power — in other words, in being “great” in terms of worldly ambitions. To correct their misunderstanding about heavenly life, Jesus told them, “Whoever humbles himself as this little child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.” 18
It is important to note that Jesus begins His teaching about humility by comparing this virtue to the innocent, trusting states of little children — especially their willingness to be led by their parents. This state is called “the innocence of infancy.” 19
As beautiful as this state might be, we cannot remain in it for our entire lives. Each of us must leave this early “Eden” of innocent trust, and begin the journey into adolescence, adulthood, and old age. Hopefully, as we learn about God, His love for us, His will for our lives, and His infinite forgiveness, we freely choose to live according to His commandments.
Whenever we do this, we return to that childlike state of willingness to be led. But this time there is a transition from a willingness to be led by parents to a willingness to be led by the Lord. This willingness to be led first begins in obedience to the Lord’s commandments. As the commandments are lived and put into one’s life, the goodness within them is perceived, even to the point where we love to keep the commandments. As it is written in the Hebrew scriptures, “Oh, how I love your law. All day long it is my meditation. Your commandments make me wiser than my enemies” (Psalms 119:97-98). This is genuine innocence. It is the innocence that attributes all goodness and all truth to God, and nothing at all to oneself. Therefore, it is called “the innocence of wisdom.” 20
As Jesus deepens His lessons in humility, He teaches His disciples about the connection between humility and forgiveness. This is because there can be no forgiveness without humility. Therefore, in the language of sacred scripture, Jesus encourages His disciples to be “as children” and to respect “the little ones” — the tender places of the human spirit. These are the enduring experiences of love and the glimpses of truth that seem to have been forgotten, ignored, despised, or simply buried in hardened hearts. Without humbly remembering these buried states of innocence and peace, love and compassion, truth and understanding, we cannot truly forgive.
It should also be pointed out that forgiveness, especially when someone has deeply hurt us, is a difficult process. The deeper the hurt, the more difficult it is for us to forgive. At times, it feels impossible. Nevertheless, the forgiveness process can begin by simply resisting the desire to be angry, resentful, or vengeful. To the extent that we can do this, shunning the evils of hatred and revenge as sins, the Lord can flow in with both the willingness and the power to forgive. As it is written in the Hebrew scriptures, “‘Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,’ says the Lord Almighty” (Zechariah 4:6). 21
A practical application
Is there a situation in your life where you are finding it hard to forgive? Is there a lingering resentment or a persistent grievance that arises from time to time? If so, keep in mind that you are to keep on forgiving every time the memory, resentment, or grievance intrudes — even if it intrudes seven times a day, or seven hundred times a day. The very effort to forgive by first shunning the evils of resentment, anger, and vengeance, while calling upon the Lord for the strength to do so, will weaken the grip of that negative emotion and allow the Lord’s forgiveness to enter. This does not mean that you should allow others to take advantage of you. Not at all. We all need to maintain healthy boundaries in the external world, for both our sake and for the sake of others. Forgiveness, however, like turning the cheek, takes place in our internal world. And while healthy boundaries are necessary, relationships can still be cordial and courteous. As a practical application, then, strive to identify any feelings of resentment, notice the arising of any grievances, and be aware of any hard feelings that may come to mind when you feel that you have been mistreated. Then pray for the strength to put those feelings aside. While it can be very difficult at first, with effort, persistence, and prayer it will become easier and easier. The willingness and the power to forgive, which can only come from the Lord, will flow in. But you must do this every time negative emotions arise, and as many times as the person who offended you comes to mind. As Jesus says in this chapter, “I do not say to you up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.” This means that your effort to forgive should not just be three times, or even many times, but always.
Fusnotat:
1. Conjugial Love 395: “Little children do not have a character acquired from love of self and the world. They do not credit anything to themselves. All that they receive they attribute to their parents. They are content with the little things they are given as gifts. They do not worry about their food and clothing, and they are not anxious about the future. They do not have any regard for the world or covet many things on account of it. They love their parents, their nursemaids, and their little companions, and play with them in a state of innocence. They allow themselves to be guided; they listen and obey.” See also Conjugial Love 414: “By ‘little children’ are meant they who are in innocence, and … innocence is to be led by the Lord.”
2. Heaven and Hell 230: “It needs to be known that the angels have absolutely no power on their own, but that all the power they have comes from the Lord. Further, they have power only so far as they acknowledge this fact. If any of them believe that their power comes from themselves, they instantly become so weak that they cannot resist even a single evil spirit. This is why angels ascribe no merit whatever to themselves, and turn down any praise or admiration for anything they have done, attributing everything to the Lord.”
3. Apocalypse Explained 1182:3: “The words, ‘It is profitable that a millstone be hanged about the neck,’ signifies that it would be better for a person not to know any goodness or truth, but only evil and falsity…. ‘To be sunk in the depths of the sea,’ signifies to be cast down to hell. This would be better because anyone who knows goodness and truth and then perverts them is guilty of profanation.” See also Arcana Coelestia 5128:5: “The Lord stores up in every person from infancy good desires and true ideas. In the Word, these stored up goods and truths are called ‘remnants’ or ‘remains.’ These remains can be infected by deceit, and profaned when mingled with evil and falsity.”
4. Arcana Coelestia 3863:10: “In this passage it is quite evident that the ‘eye’ does not mean the eye. Nor does it mean that the eye has to be plucked out, for it is not the eye that causes the stumbling but the way one understands truth…. The law that it is better not to know and grasp the truths of faith than to know and grasp them and yet to lead a life of evil is what is meant by ‘It is better to enter into life one-eyed than having two eyes to be thrown into the Gehenna of fire.”
5. Arcana Coelestia 561: “But what are remains? They are not only the goods and truths that people have learned from the Lord’s Word from infancy, and have thus impressed on their memory, but they are also all the states thence derived, such as states of innocence from infancy; states of love toward parents, brothers, teachers, friends; states of charity toward the neighbor, and also of pity for the poor and needy; in a word, all states of good and truth. These states together with the goods and truths impressed on the memory, are called remains, which are preserved in people by the Lord and are stored up, entirely without their knowledge, in their internal…. All these states are so preserved in people by the Lord that not the least of them is lost…. Not only do the goods and truths of memory thus remain and return, but also all states of innocence and charity.”
6. Divine Providence 43: “The Lord never compels people, because everything to which people are compelled does not appear to them as attributable to themselves. And whatever does not appear to them as attributable to themselves cannot be made a matter of their love and so be assigned to them as belonging to them. Therefore, people are continually led by the Lord in freedom, and are also reformed and regenerated in freedom.”
7. Arcana Coelestia 8678:2. “In proportion as people can humble themselves before the Lord…. they receive the divine and are in heaven.” See also Arcana Coelestia 5164:2: “In the Lord’s kingdom or heaven they who are the greatest are servants more than others. This is because they are in the greatest obedience, and in deeper humility than the rest. These are they who are meant by the ‘least that shall be greatest,’ and by the ‘last that shall be first.’”
8. Arcana Coelestia 5608:2-5: “Since innocence is the inmost virtue of heaven, innocence must exist inwardly with all who are in heaven…. In fact, people cannot enter heaven unless they possess some measure of innocence. What is more, young children allow themselves to be governed by angels who are filled with innocence. They are not yet self-directed as are adults who govern themselves by the exercise of their own reason and their own will. The fact that young children allow themselves to be governed by angels is clear from the Lord’s words in Matthew, ‘See that you do not despise any one of these little ones, for I say to you that their angels in heaven always see the face of My Father.’ No one can see God’s face except by virtue of having innocence.” See also Arcana Coelestia 1050:1-2: “People cannot be said to be alive unless they have something of innocence, of charity, and of mercy, or something like it or emulating it. This something of innocence, charity, and mercy is received from the Lord during infancy and childhood, as is evident from the state of infants and also from that of childhood. What is received at that time is preserved in people, and the things that are preserved are called in the Word ‘remains.’ These remains are from the Lord alone in people…. They are received as a gift from the Lord, and are preserved by the Lord in everyone…. When people are being regenerated, these states are the beginnings of regeneration, and they are led into them by the Lord; for the Lord works through these remains.”
9. Arcana Coelestia 4882:1-2: “It appears to both spirits and people that they live from themselves, when yet they do not live from themselves, but from the divine of the Lord from whom comes everything of life…. Those who are not in good, and consequently not in truth, are unwilling to hear that it is an appearance that they live of themselves, for they wish to be self-reliant.” See also 5964: “In the Word, ‘evening’ is when people depart from celestial and spiritual realities and move towards the kinds of things that do not have what is spiritual or celestial in them…. This state comes about because they wish to be self-reliant. And as far as self-reliance takes over and they become steeped in it, so far do they depart from the things of heaven.”
10. Arcana Coelestia 1050:2: “To the extent that a person extinguishes the [heavenly] remains that were received during childhood, that person becomes [spiritually] dead.”
11. Apocalypse Explained 405:33: “It is said, ‘Will He not leave the ninety and nine in the mountains?’ for ‘sheep in the mountains’ signify those who are in the good of love and charity. But ‘the one that is gone astray’ signifies one who is not in that good, because he is in falsities from ignorance; for where falsity is, there good is not, because good is of truth.” [Note: The original Greek says that “He leaves the ninety-nine upon the mountains,” before going off to find the lost sheep — not that he “leaves the ninety-nine and goes to the mountains” (as it is translated in some versions).]
12. Arcana Coelestia 3090: “While a person is being regenerated a kind of marriage must take place between the will and the understanding, good being on the side of the will, and truth on that of the understanding. For this reason, the ancients established a marriage between will and understanding, and between the individual parts of the will and the understanding.”
13. True Christian Religion 447-448: “In the next world, people who are interiorly different are separated from each other, friend from friend, masters from dependents, parents from children, and brother from brother …. They are then connected with those who are interiorly like themselves and with whom they will live to eternity…. People who, while in the world, have mutually entered into interior friendships cannot be separated in an orderly fashion…. This is because they are inwardly tied together at the level of the spirit, and cannot be torn apart because they are like branches grafted on to other branches…. The one whose interiors are in hell breathes hellish ideas into the one whose interiors are in heaven. For it is one of the facts which are well known in heaven that wicked ideas can be breathed into good people, but not good ideas into wicked people…. Therefore, when good people are bound together with wicked people, their interiors are shut off, and both are cast down into hell, where the good one suffers severely and only after some time has elapsed is that person released. Only then can the good person’s preparation for heaven begin.” [Note: The Latin phrase, which is here translated as “interior friendships” is amicitias amorem. This phrase has also been translated as “close friendships,” “bosom friendships,” “strong friendships,” and, most literally, “friendships of love.”]
14. Heaven and Hell 480: “After death people are no longer capable of being reformed by instruction, as in the world, because the outmost plane, which consists of natural knowledges and affections, is then quiescent and not being spiritual cannot be opened. It is upon this outmost plane that the interiors pertaining to the mind and disposition rest as a house rests upon its foundation. This is why people remain forever such as the life of their love had been in the world.”
15. Conjugial Love 41[2]: “By spiritual marriage, conjunction with the Lord is meant, and this is achieved on earth. And when it has been achieved on earth, it has also been achieved in heaven…. Such persons are also called by the Lord, ‘children of the wedding.’”
16. Arcana Coelestia 433: “The number ‘seven’ wherever it occurs in the Word, signifies what is holy, or most sacred; and this holiness and sanctity is predicated of, or according to, the things that are being treated of. From this comes the signification of the number ‘seventy’ which comprises seven ages; for an age, in the Word, is ten years. When anything most holy or sacred was to be expressed, it was said "seventy-sevenfold" as when the Lord said that a man should forgive his brother not until seven times, but until seventy times seven by which is meant that they should forgive as many times as he sins, so that the forgiving should be without end, or should be eternal, which is holy.”
17. Arcana Coelestia 661: “Remains are all things of innocence, all things of charity, all things of mercy, and all things of the truth of faith, which from infancy a person has been given by the Lord and has learned. Each and all of these things are treasured up; and if a person did not have them, there could be nothing of innocence, of charity, and of mercy, and therefore nothing of good and truth in one’s thought and actions, so that a person would be worse than the savage wild beasts. And it would be the same if the remains of such things were closed up by filthy desires and direful persuasions of falsity, so much so that they could not operate.”
18. Arcana Coelestia 8873: “Life from the Lord can only flow into a humble and submissive heart…. When the heart is truly humble, nothing of the love of self and of the love of the world stands in the way.” See also Arcana Coelestia 8271: “When people are in humility, which is the essential of all worship, they are in a state of receiving from the Lord the truth which is of faith and the good which is of charity…. However, if people exalt themselves before the Lord, they close the interiors of their mind, thus becoming unable to receive good and truth from the Lord.”
19. Heaven and Hell 277: “The innocence of infancy, or of little ones, is not real innocence since it is solely a matter of outward form and not internal…. It is not real innocence because they do not have any internal thought; they do not yet know what good and evil are, or what true and false are, and this knowledge is the basis of [adult] thinking. As a result, they do not have any foresight of their own, no premeditation, and therefore no intent of evil. They have no self-image acquired through love for themselves and the world. They do not claim credit for anything, but attribute everything they receive to their parents…. They love their parents, their caretakers, and their little friends and play innocently with them. They are willing to be led; they listen and obey.”
20. The New Jerusalem and Its Heavenly Teachings 278: “The innocence of wisdom attributes nothing of good to itself, but ascribes all good to the Lord. Because it ascribes all good to the Lord and loves to be led by the Lord, it is the means whereby all good and truth is received, and from which wisdom comes. This is why people are so created as to be during their childhood in external innocence, and when they become old in internal innocence, to the end that they may come by means of the former into the latter, and from the latter return into the former. For the same reason, when people become old they dwindle in body and become again like a child, but like a wise child, that is, an angel, for a wise child is in an eminent sense an angel. This is why in the Word, ‘a little child’ signifies one who is innocent, and ‘an old man’ signifies one who is wise in whom is innocence.”
21. True Christian Religion 535: “The first thing of charity is to shun evils. This is taught in the Word, the Decalogue, baptism, the holy supper and even by reason. For how can anyone flee away from evils and banish them without some self-inspection? And how can good become good until it has been interiorly purified?” See also Last Judgment (Posthumous) 102: “The power to forgive sins … is the Lord’s alone.”
